
Nobody was listening, for they were all saying, “Open it, Pooh,” “What is it, Pooh?” “I know what it is,” “No, you don’t,” and other helpful remarks of this sort. And of course Pooh was opening it as quickly as ever he could, but without cutting the string, because you never know when a bit of string might be Useful. At last it was undone. AA Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
Man, I never thought that I would end this volume of the New Day Chronicles with the Pooh Bear. I had visions of edgier posts, just nailing the arguments for sobriety, cutting through all the BS, and letting people know that my worst day sober has been better than my best day drunk. But Pooh is a Smart Bear – I’ve learned a lot from him.
I’m not entirely sure when or if I’ll be back – writing this blog has been very therapeutic for me, but it’s time for me to move on. I have never kept a journal, and have seen the value of writing things down as they bother me or as I am inspired. If you’ve followed this from the beginning, you will notice that my posts have gotten longer (and possibly a bit more hopeful) as I’ve gone deeper into the Steps and into my recovery.
I went through significant periods in my life where I didn’t think anybody was listening, especially towards the end of my drinking. And just like Pooh in the quote above, some of the remarks just were not all that helpful: “Stop drinking, Harry”, “What are you doing to yourself Harry?”, “I know what the problem is”, “No you don’t”, and other “helpful” remarks of this sort.
And I was opening too, starting to open to the possibility that I had a problem with alcohol, but I couldn’t cut the strings to the past, to the blame game. “I got dumped!” “Of course I’m having another drink – I deserve one! – look how she treated me!” And at the last, it all became unravelled. At last it was undone. I had hit my bottom.
In recovery, they say you can have many more bottoms. I guess I’ve been lucky – for me they’ve been bumps on the road – usually a sign that I’m procrastinating with a step or some action that I need to be taking.
I saw an old friend yesterday – he got sober about six months before I did, and he’s going through changes of his own. One thing he and I fully agree upon: Bill and Dr. Bob’s Program of Action had a Goal:
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built. Page 21, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
From Step One we can see that the bedrock of our recovery is in admitting that we are totally powerless over alcohol – and that our Goal is to be building a “happy and purposeful” life. In basic goal-setting, it is paramount that one writes down one’s goals – an unwritten goal is rarely achievable.
I’m happy – happier than I’ve ever been in my life. And my life keeps bringing me new purpose. I have new “leaps of faith” all the time, bringing me to a closer understanding of myself and the higher power that I still don’t understand but I know understands me.
And I need to go in some new directions in my life. Today, I found courage where courage was lacking. It’s amazing how much fear I had over telling someone that their drinking was unacceptable – funny how big a fear it was and how little courage it actually took. It was frakking brutal, but absolutely necessary – she has our disease. And now, all I can do is stand back and hope – hope that she finds her bottom and gets better, and someday leads a happy and purposeful life again.
Because of AA, I find serenity, courage and wisdom when I least expect it. And I can be grateful that I’m an alcoholic, one who has admitted my allergic disease, because I can now proceed to have that “happy and purposeful” life – one that I would never have known unless things happened exactly as they did. Everything that happened in my past has brought me to this moment – everything.
You know that Christopher Robin understands his Bear when he decides to give him a party for risking his life to save their friend Piglet from the flood. Christopher Robin understood the Power of Gratitude when he got all the animals together to celebrate Winnie the Pooh’s bravery. Christopher Robin didn’t just talk about his gratitude – he showed it by giving Pooh a new pencil case (including, of course that wonderful HB pencil!). Pooh’s reaction to Chrisopher Robin’s maturity was predictable, as was Eeyore’s:
“Oh!” said Pooh.
“Oh, Pooh!” said everybody else except Eeyore.
“Thank-you,” growled Pooh.
But Eeyore was saying to himself, “This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it.”
I guess that from some perspectives, it might seem as though this writing business is silly stuff with nothing in it. But it wasn’t for me. It helped keep me sober when I most needed it.
Later on, when they had all said “Good-bye” and “Thank-you” to Christopher Robin, Pooh and Piglet walked home thoughtfully together in the golden evening, and for a long time they were silent.
”Goodbye” and “Thank-you” is a good note to leave this on, for now. See you in the Rooms or beyond the sunset.
Harry
P.S. The New Day Meeting continues as normal – it’s just the blog that stops here, for now.



























“Do you think Oz could give me courage?” asked the Cowardly Lion.
“Just as easily as he could give me brains,” said the Scarecrow.
“Or give me a heart,” said the Tin Woodman.
“Or send me back to Kansas,” said Dorothy.
“Then, if you don’t mind, I’ll go with you,” said the Lion, “for my life is simply unbearable without a bit of courage.” The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum